Time to Pretend
Can you handle the truth?


Message
About me
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"I’m drowning in a sea of people
the harsh bitter taste forever in my mouth
The sadness
burns my eyes and
fills my lungs
slowly p
o
u
r
i
n
g
out of my ears
When all is lost
I see an island that is you
The sea is lapping at your shores as I swim closer
just to be pulled back
by the riptides hiding at your edges
seemingly calm
I try to find purchase on your borders only to fall
s
i
n
k
i
n
g
back into the depths
knowing I can’t be saved"


"…That’s a period historians call a long ass time."


"Life changes every minute of everyday. You lose friends. You gain friends. You realize your friend wasn’t ever really your friend and the person you used to hate can make a really good friend. You look for love. You find love. You lose love. You realize all along that you’ve been loved. You laugh. You cry. You laugh so hard that you cry. You do this, you do that. You really wish you hadn’t done that. You then learn from that and you’re glad that you did. You have your ups. You have your downs. You see good movies. You see bad movies. You wonder if your life is just a big movie. You look at others and wish you were them. You then realize who they are and glad that you’re you. You love life. You hate life. In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life, no matter what’s being thrown at you."


"I want- I need someone who I can pour all my shortcomings, all my secrets, all my dreams, all my strengths, and all my weaknesses on. I better find him soon, too. Because if I don’t, everything will eat me up on the inside."


I’m told I need to make a decision. I need to choose before it’s too late and it’s got to be the right choice. I can’t make a mistake. I can’t slip up. No redos or start-overs. It could mean I would mess up my future, and God knows I wouldn’t want that, especially when I’ve got the rest of my life ahead of me. Can’t have another bright star burn out before it’s supposed to, because we have my whole life set up before me, and don’t worry you’ll love it. This is freedom. This is my choice. Right?
searching

brightlightsloudnoises:

i’ve tried bars and bus stations

the most famous parks in the biggest
cities
on the brightest days

and i’ve wandered the most
hidden streets
on rainy nights

i know it’s there

because i saw it once

in your eyes 

I’m told I need to focus on my future. Schoolwork and sports and my duties come first. But what is this all leading towards? I’m going to do everything right in high school, so then I can get into the right college, where I will learn a whole bunch about something I’m not sure I want to even be doing, so that I can graduate and get a job and in that time between now and leaving college find the right guy so I can have a family early enough so I won’t be fat when I have kids and then I will make a lot of money so I can support my children to do what they want, because as a mother, I ALWAYS wanted that for them, and as they grow older and I have more money I will retire from the job I had always wanted, because that’s what I want, and I will retire with my husband who has been a big part of my life so far and then die. That is what my life will be like. That is called living. And people wonder why I don’t absolutely want to be a doctor.